No offense meant, Kolby, but I am not sure why you decided to craft this, why it fails to make sense...

I mean... ok... look at this:

"I'm finding that people who are well informed about their personality, let's say being a "J" will be 10x more critical than the one who doesn't. Why? Because we tend to use our personality as a scapegoat for the actions we take."

To be a Judging type personality DOES make one, naturally, more critical. However, even within the confines of the argument I *suspect* is trying to take place, it would seem that you don't really understand the difference between judging and perceiving personalities -- judging and perception. Which means that you are, in fact, doing what you feel should *not* be done.

What is that? "'I'm finding that it might have been better if people with extensive knowledge into personality didn't know about "personality" in the first place." It seems the problem, if I may suggest, may not be *extensive* knowledge, but superficial knowledge. For example, I am a ENFJ, right? One of the people I have met in life and like (... it's a strange relationship that would probably find it best expression in sex... but eh) is ENFP. Shocked, I did a research project to look into the differences between J and P so I could see the differences... and when I say "research project", I mean several different sources... literally judging and weighing what was useful, what contradicted between them... and then I came to my own analysis.

... I think P's can make decisions, personally.

Also, inasfar as compatibility, I think there are... wow. So many different personality systems to travel along (I am huge into astrology) that people can be incompatible and compatible along varying axis.

I believe character is developed through what one has to go through and what decisions they make in those crisises. The "influenced" stance is better suited when one thinks about being socialized or acculturated.

I do agree that personality types are not always utilized in a manner in accordance with the orginal application, however, I do not believe that negates the... in order to understand something, one has to, necessarily, understand the difference between self and other... and then, hopefully, they grow out of that, too and are able to look more holistically.

I am sorry you felt ripped a new one.
I do not feel you should take it out on other people
to preach at them because you feel hurt
it would be a better recourse to talk to Kitty --
assuming this is as personal as it feels.

What is the intention of a personality? -- because there was no informing by my read. There was a discussion about "personality types" and how different "personality types" should be "handled" -- for lack of a better word. There was a brief discussion about "character" which lead to "temperment", which I think you are ascribing some essentialist notions, but eh, gotta have those.

Can one *actually* be limited by h/er temperment or limited by the ways in which other people *perceive* h/er temperment?

Do you really feel that being "more compatible" with others is *really* more mature? Or is that how you define maturity? Do other people have to agree with your definition? Can you think or ways where being "more compatible" can actually *not* be mature?

Sorry, just some thoughts. I would love it if you are able to evolve this discussion, but first, I think you should say what it is that lead you to write this post -- and say it clear. Don't worry about how we perceive you, speak your truth.

Heart,

Ergane

great. i deleted it for a reason. we were fighting long before we took the tests. it got better once we saw the results.

I'm glad you brought this up.

I think Character is a spiritual essence of a person - whether one derives that sense from people, a diety, self, whatever - it doesn't change. The funny thing is, although temperment - the physical manifestation of the dominent expressive preference - CAN change, especially evident with chemical stimuli, i.e. Prozac, etc., the Character remains the same.

The dominant expressive preference can be masked, but it will likely cause damage to the repressed psyche. Only when we learn to put the dominant expressive preference in its place - in life, can the other functions become developed and emerge.

By the way Kolby ... lol ... I grew up with "P"s in my family. They can't make decisions until they are FORCED to by circumstance. Until then, it is a triage of delayed choices not to chose in efforts to hold out for the best possible scenario ... lol ... *applauding self* Get your life together ... lol ... just kidding ... ;)

Over the course of my life I have had many personality types.
I think I was born a INFP, later on I progressed to ENFP, then to ENTP, then fell BACK into INFP, again to ENFP and now I score as a ENFJ close to being an ENTJ.
I just found that I really didn't like some parts of what ever personality I was at the time, and worked on those parts, morphing into different personality types. I found though, that I have never had an S mentality, I don't like S and will never like it.

I do the thing that seems the best for me. I don't care if I don't hold true to my "natural" personality type.
I will be whatever I think is best to be. And I succeed.